Kids Bearing Witness to Immigration Policy Changes: How to Discuss it with Kids of All Ages

Immigration policies and enforcement impact communities in deep and personal ways. In many areas, including our own, families—documented and undocumented alike—are experiencing fear, uncertainty, and disruption. Even children who are not personally at risk are noticing changes: classmates who suddenly stop coming to school, parents who seem more stressed, and neighbors who are no longer showing up for work.

I will never forget when, as a child, California Prop 180 made waves in California. Suddenly, in my little country school in the middle of rural Madera County, went alight with terror. Many of my friends and friend’s families were undocumented. Some of the staff were undocumented. One of my core childhood memories is that day when they all didn’t show up—I felt confused and terrified for my friends and beloved families. I could only imagine what they might be feeling. No one stopped to tell me what was going on which left me confused and scared.

As adults, it’s our responsibility to help children understand what’s happening in a developmentally appropriate way—with honesty, without fear-mongering, and with deep compassion for those affected.

This guide will help you navigate these conversations, whether you’re talking to the child of an undocumented parent or a child who wants to understand what’s happening in their community.

First, Check in With Yourself

Before talking to kids, take a moment to reflect on your own emotions and knowledge about immigration. Are you feeling angry? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Kids pick up on our energy, so grounding yourself first can help the conversation feel safe and productive.

If you don’t fully understand a specific policy or event, it’s okay to say you don’t know and look it up together. What matters most is how you show up—with curiosity, care, and a commitment to fairness.

How to Talk About Immigration at Every Age

Preschoolers (Ages 3-5): Keep It Simple and Kind

🔹 What They Notice: Young kids may not understand laws, but they notice when people around them are sad, scared, or missing.

🔹 What to Say:
✔️ “Sometimes, families move to a new country for a better life, but the rules about who can stay are different for different people. Some families are worried about having to leave.”
✔️ “Our job is to be kind and to help people feel safe.”

🔹 What to Do:
🖍️ Read books that celebrate different cultures and families.
💛 Reinforce inclusion: “All kids deserve friends and kindness, no matter where they are from.”

Elementary Schoolers (Ages 6-10): Focus on Fairness and Empathy

🔹 What They Notice: At this age, kids are starting to understand rules and fairness. They may hear about deportations, see protests on TV, or wonder why a classmate suddenly stopped coming to school.

🔹 What to Say:
✔️ “Some people move to a new country because it’s not safe where they were. But sometimes, they don’t have the right papers, and that makes it hard for them to stay.”
✔️ “Right now, there are new rules that are making people scared. Some families worry about being separated. It’s really hard, and a lot of people are trying to make things better.”

🔹 For Children of Undocumented Parents:
✔️ “You are loved, and you are not alone. There are people who want to help your family stay safe.”
✔️ If a child is fearful about their family’s safety, acknowledge their feelings without making promises you can’t guarantee. Instead, focus on the helpers: “There are teachers, doctors, and lawyers who care about keeping families together.”

🔹 What to Do:
📖 Read books about immigration stories (“Dreamers” by Yuyi Morales is a great one!).
💙 Teach advocacy: Write notes of kindness to families affected by these policies.
🌎 Reinforce inclusion: “Our class/neighborhood is a place where everyone belongs.”

Middle Schoolers (Ages 11-13): Acknowledge Complexity

🔹 What They Notice: Middle schoolers are aware of injustice and want to understand why things aren’t fair. They may hear political arguments and wonder who’s telling the truth.

🔹 What to Say:
✔️ “Our country has complicated rules about who can live here. Some people come because their home isn’t safe, but the process to stay is very hard.”
✔️ “Some families are scared because they don’t have papers, and new laws are making things even harder for them.”
✔️ “People disagree about what should be done, but one thing is always true: Families deserve to be safe and treated with respect.”

🔹 For Children of Undocumented Parents:
✔️ Provide concrete resources: “Here’s a number for a group that helps families.” (Local immigrant support organizations can provide guidance.)
✔️ Validate their emotions: “It makes sense to feel scared. You can always talk to me.”

🔹 What to Do:
🔎 Research historical context together (Ellis Island, immigration laws over time).
📝 Encourage them to write letters to lawmakers about fair policies.
🤝 Discuss how to be a good ally: “If you hear someone saying mean things about immigrants, what could you do?”

High Schoolers (Ages 14-18): Encourage Critical Thinking and Action

🔹 What They Notice: Teens are deeply aware of the world and often want to take action. They may hear heated political debates, see injustices on social media, or personally know families affected.

🔹 What to Say:
✔️ “Immigration policy has always been debated in our country. Right now, some new policies are making life harder for families who came here without documentation.”
✔️ “Many people think the system is unfair, but fixing it is complicated. What do you think would be a fair solution?”
✔️ “Even if we don’t have all the answers, we can still stand up for people who are struggling.”

🔹 For Teens in Undocumented Families:
✔️ Help them prepare: “Here’s how you can find help if you ever need it.” (Provide local legal aid or advocacy resources.)
✔️ Support their activism: If they want to speak out, help them find safe and effective ways to do so.

🔹 What to Do:
📚 Read personal stories from immigrants and asylum seekers.
📢 Encourage them to join or start activism groups supporting immigrant rights.
🗳️ Discuss how policies are made and why voting matters.

Final Thoughts: Compassion Above All

No matter your child’s age, the most important thing you can do is model compassion and a commitment to fairness.

✔️ If your child is affected: Provide emotional support and practical resources.
✔️ If your child is a bystander: Teach them to be kind, aware, and ready to stand up for others.
✔️ If your child is struggling with fear or uncertainty: Reassure them that there are helpers—people working every day to make things better.

💛 Every child deserves to feel safe. Every family deserves dignity. And every conversation about immigration should start from that truth.

✨ Have you had conversations with your child about immigration? How did it go? Share your thoughts in the comments!